Hey there,
My my my has it been a while. The seasons have changed, the world has changed, and so has the year. I met all my goals for 2017, finally committed to creating content as an influencer, I wrote more, and then stopped writing. In 2017 I came face to face with my biggest insecurities and turned my beauty into strength. In October I had my first car accident that almost took my life, and since changed my outlook on living ever since. When I look back on all that has happened in my life, the good, the bad, I’m reminded of the importance being in tune: mentally, physically and emotionally. Today I’m here to make a pact with myself.
I will not run myself dry. — In the past two years I have learned so much about myself. Throughout the year I check, in with my closest friends and ask if there is anything that I could work on, to be a better friend, person, and better me. One of the biggest realizations that I had, thanks to a friend, is that I had FOMO. Jeannette if you’re reading this, thank you. I had no idea what this was, never heard of it or even remotely familiar with the phrase. Fear of Missing Out. For so long I had prided myself on always being busy and staying busy that I didn’t understand that all busy is not good busy. When an opportunity would come my way, I would take it. I told myself that “when will I get an opportunity like this again.” Or “I can move somethings around and make this work.” Maybe it was the people-pleaser in me, but I could not bring myself to decline an opportunity, even if it meant giving up essential things I needed to thrive. I became overwhelmed, stressed, and tired as hell. Having that conversation, with someone who knew me so well, was refreshing and so necessary. She saw right through me and was able to act as a mirror, to let me know that sometimes that tiredness I’m feeling should not be ignored, and taking care of me was important too. So this year I plan to keep my cup full and remain in tune with myself so that when the time comes to say no, or yes, I will do it wholeheartedly and be sure of myself.
I will not accept less than what I know I deserve. — There is no big story here. Just a fact that women, and men, everywhere should say aloud on the daily. There is no reason why anyone, anywhere should have to compromise a part of themselves or take less than what is written for them. If only you would have fought for that raise, maybe you should have been upfront with that brand about what your rates for promotions were, maybe you should have told your significant other/ person where you truly stand. Anytime you find yourself willing to make a decision to please someone else and you are not at peace, repeat the phrase in your head, aloud even. “I will not accept less than what I know I deserve.” Apply this to your relationships- business and professional – and the rest will fall into place. As Drake would say, “Know yourself, know your worth.” This mentality is one I will say daily.
More Creating. — Albert Camus said, “To create is to live twice.” When I came back from France two years ago, everything fell into place. I started writing and documenting my travels, my journey through life became a story that I had no trouble sharing. I was on a roll, my happiest times were documented and I felt alive and free, I was doing school, and writing for a magazine, and doing it well. Somewhere along the way I just decided, eh, kinda want to be a hermit right now so no more. I’m good. But I missed it. And I’m making a pact with myself to keep going. Keep doing. More creating. Because it makes my heart sing, because new experiences fuel me, and adventures bring me joy. So I will continue to do what I love – whether that be to write, to sing, to dance, to love, and document it all. To have a space to look back on this wonderfull life and say, “yea, I did that.”
No more dreaming. — “Be. Don’t try to become.” – Osho For all the people in the world who say, “man I would love to go to Europe,” or “If only I had the courage to start my youtube channel.” Maybe you’re the one in the room who makes promises to yourself. “I’m going to try to be better at this,” or “my biggest dream is to go to Martinique.” There are people in the world who took wishful thinking and turned it into a plan of action. They’ve been to Europe. Your favorite blog? Yea, they run that. Mozambique? They went there last week. What I mean to say is that while you are sitting there and dreaming, someone has already done, or is doing it. And you can too. You want to go to Istanbul? Make a plan, do your research, talk to people who have been there, save that money! Easier said than done, but if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. I have a saying that I’ve started saying often, and it’s growing on me. “Nothing will happen unless you make it so.” No longer am I going to dream about what I want my life to look like, but rather make it so. If I want to have a good day, I’m going to get up and head to the gym, because I know that’s what gets me moving and ready to be awesome. If I want to feel good, I’m going to listen to my body and stay away from dairy and meat, because I know it doesn’t make my body feel good. I want to work with a brand? I’m sending that email, trying their products so they know I am an active customer and am genuinely here for more than just the perks. So no more dreaming, instead I will do.
Trust The Process. — Quite possibly one of the most important things to keep in mind in order to live a life of peace and well-being. I always say that what is for you, God has already written. So there is no need to fear for the future. I remind myself of this every day. To put forth the work and effort on my part, and then give the rest to God, because past that point there is nothing else I can do. All of my triumphs, my greatest moments are because of Him. So that is my promise, my mantra for 2018; my mantra for life.
Sending hugs through the internet waves,
Subi
September 26, 2018. I made it. All of this space and it was all mine for the next two days! No worries, no phone calls, no text messages, no notifications. Just me. The tent had enough space for myself and three other people. This tent was made for sharing. But sometimes, a little selfishness is what we all need. Thanks to winning an Instagram contest launched by 
There was a full range kitchen just outside the tent for me to cook, and that is one of my passions, cooking, and it’s something that I don’t get to do very often, seeing as I’m never home long enough. I was able to buy fresh groceries at the store built for the campsite just a few feet away from my tent, and I sang and danced in the kitchen, around fresh air and open sky
Traveling solo, you have to take your own pictures, and you have to get creative. While on the beach, I propped my phone on a rick and stood it up with my bag, placed the camera on a timer and ran to do poses! 
Each night I wrote in my journal in order to really capture my feelings and reflect on what each day there taught me. The biggest thing that I can say is that this trip gave me an opportunity to be with myself, to really check – in and be sure that I was right where I needed to be, and I wish I could do it all over again. If you want to see more of my trip, and really get a feel for the experience, head to my YouTube and watch the whole vlog here: 
