Serious FOMO is a NO GO

You know that feeling you get when something is going on and you’re not there but I just want to be a part of it? Or when you see a friend in a relationship and how much fun they’re having, and you wonder, when will it be my turn? What about just sitting at home, scrolling on social media and you see someone you follow, maybe even admire, and you think, wow their life is so much more interesting than mine. Pretty soon you’ll be in a place of asking yourself how far you’ve come and what do you have to show for it in comparison to them, and before you know it, you’re dissatisfied with so many things that may actually be accomplishments and victories of yours. You, my friend, have FOMO.

What is FOMO? Also known as the fear of missing out, it is actually a form of social anxiety – a compulsive concern that one might miss an opportunity or satisfying event, often sparked by posts seen on social media websites. This could be anything ranging from the most minor, wanting to be the first in line because you’re anxious about getting good concert seats, or even the ones I mentioned above.

When I was in college, I had serious FOMO. I used to get minimal sleep because I would go to every event, every party that I could, fit in a seminar and spread myself thin all because I was afraid that I might miss something. When I was in high school, I wanted to be in college, and when I was in college, I couldn’t wait to grow up so that I could be in the real world and far away from my campus. It wasn’t until a really good friend of mine, and to this day she is much like a sister, told me, “Subi, you’re always doing something. You have serious FOMO, hun.” Number one I had never heard that word before. Number two, because I had no idea what it was, I was all the more offended! So I asked and she explained to me that the more we feel a need to be elsewhere, anywhere other than the present and growing, truly living in the moment, the more unhealthy we don’t realize we are. I had FOMO of the future. I was so caught up in rushing into the next step in life, so sure that what was ahead was so much better and worth my time than where I currently was, that I had allowed so much to pass me by. But most of all, I was wasting time in the present.

A decision had to be made about how I wanted to proceed. I could brush it off and keep doing the same old thing. Or, I could make a conscious decision to live in and appreciate the present for what it was. This is much easier said than done. For some, all it takes is an alteration of what you focus your attention on. Dwell less on the possibility of a loss: time, memory making, travel, likes on social media, and hone in more on immediate achievement, benefits, and payoffs. Write down some goals that you want to work toward, and set intentions to get right where you want to be, by being the best version of yourself in the present. Clear your social media feed of anyone and anything that is not mentally healthy or inspiring. Follow people who inspire your creative interest and Focus more on what is occurring in the now.

The person I am today is not who I was four years ago. I look back and shake my head at all the time that I wasted, hoping to be somewhere, anywhere other than where I was, but I also smile. Being in that space taught me how precious living in the now is. The present is my favorite place to be now; I am learning so much about myself and am pushing myself to be better than who I was yesterday. That is the only person or thing that anyone should have FOMO about. Leave room for more celebration of the little things, all your little things. Xoxo.

Sincerely,

Subi

#SoloTravelWithSubi | Glamping in Venice, Italy

On September 25, 2018, my journey began. This trip was not supposed to happen, nothing was going as planned, but something in the air told me to take a leap of faith and “just do it.” So, I packed my bags in haste and booked a night flight to Venice, Italy. Sitting at the gate, I was tired, hungry, but still in good spirits. There was an empty seat in first class an upgrade and I was so grateful. The food was yummy, it was quiet and I was able to journal, watch movies and really relax. In this time of transition from college to working in the real world, I really needed a reminder of what I was passionate about. To center.

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IMG_8321 September 26, 2018. I made it. All of this space and it was all mine for the next two days! No worries, no phone calls, no text messages, no notifications. Just me. The tent had enough space for myself and three other people. This tent was made for sharing. But sometimes, a little selfishness is what we all need.  Thanks to winning an Instagram contest launched by @YouMeTravelCo and Sponsored by @GoOutsideIt, I was set to be here for 3 days and 2 nights under the stars in Italy, and I was so excited. Glamping was something that was new to me, none of my friends had ever done it, so this experience was unchartered territory.

What is “glamping?”Glamping is a portmanteau of glamorous and camping and describes a style of camping with amenities and, in some cases, resort-style services not usually associated with “traditional” camping. My version was a bit more humble than the over the top luxury, but it was luxurious to me okayyyy!! The whole experience from the moment I stepped onto the grounds was so peaceful. I loved every second. The tent was spacious, with three beds total, two twin and one full, so the tent can ideally fit 5 people if you include the couch.IMG_8318

IMG_8109.jpg There was a full range kitchen just outside the tent for me to cook, and that is one of my passions, cooking, and it’s something that I don’t get to do very often, seeing as I’m never home long enough. I was able to buy fresh groceries at the store built for the campsite just a few feet away from my tent, and I sang and danced in the kitchen, around fresh air and open sky

My favorite part of the trip was my day on the beach. What a liberating experience. I put my wireless headphones on and blasted Afrobeats, Soka, Compa, Caribbean music, anything that made me happy, I listened to it. I closed my eyes and spun around, dancing laughing, not caring who saw me, because this was my therapy moment. Releasing the kid inside and just dancing it out without a care as to who was judging or watching me. I danced for all the days that I was frustrated, wanting an outcome that did not go my way. I danced for the triumphs in my life, all the good things and amazing feats that I had accomplished for a young woman my age, and I danced for the future. There are so many good things ahead of me, all I have to do is work hard, pray harder, and be persistent and consistent.  It was so freeing, and it gave me hope that somewhere in the world there was a young girl doing the same, dancing it out and living in the moment, because once you go to bed, that day is gone. Don’t cry, don’t dwell in sorrow, dance it out.

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IMG_8254 Traveling solo, you have to take your own pictures, and you have to get creative. While on the beach, I propped my phone on a rick and stood it up with my bag, placed the camera on a timer and ran to do poses! IMG_8169

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If you’re ever alone and you want pictures taken, and want to get the exact shot you want, get creative, have fun with it! Use the objects around you to make your vision come to light. Whether it’s a tripod, a stack of books or even some rocks on the beach, you can make your surroundings work for you.IMG_8181Each night I wrote in my journal in order to really capture my feelings and reflect on what each day there taught me. The biggest thing that I can say is that this trip gave me an opportunity to be with myself, to really check – in and be sure that I was right where I needed to be, and I wish I could do it all over again. If you want to see more of my trip, and really get a feel for the experience, head to my YouTube and watch the whole vlog here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccWkQMELxAw

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My Tent At Night

Thank you so much for reading! Have you ever wanted to solo travel? Let me know in the comments below where you plan to visit!

P.S. Here are some shots I took from the plane looking over Italy!

 

xoxo,

Sincerely, Subi